(set: $round to 1)Hikaru wakes up.
It's a Thursday, like any other Thursday.
[[Go downstairs]]
[[Stay in bed for a little longer]]{(unless: (passage:)'s tags contains "noheader")[<div class="bluesmall">day $round</div>
----
</br>
<br>
]}(set: $counter to 180)(align: "=><=")[
(css: "font-size: 200%;")[8:42]
🕐 3:00
[Slide to dream]<swipe|]
(mouseover: ?swipe)[
[(set: $startTimer to true)(go-to: "1")]]Meet mom. (click: "mom")[
Mom has made breakfast. Doesn't really matter what it is, Hikaru is going out anyway. She looks at him with eyes of concern, though he feels more annoyance than appreciation. Even she's become aware of this habit of his. All week she must have thought he's at it againーmoping.
"Are you going out today?"
Hikaru has to choose.
[[Go to the match]]
[[Do something else]]
]Hikaru takes a deep breath, waking up.(click: "waking up")[
//Good morning.//
Sometimes he would catch himself talking to nobody like this. He no longer knows if he's trying to speak to the Sai in his mind or himself, maybe a mix of both.]
He lies there, lets the feeling wash over him.
It's May 5th today.
Last year he turned 18. He had always thought there was something //there// in the way Sai disappeared on Children's Day. For him, the symbolic link between the two grew stronger over time, as he felt every May 5th a little more grown up, and a little less like a child for whom the flags are raised. As he aged, like any teenager coming to terms with their identity, the concept of childhood, adulthood, and other such abstractions floated on top of his consciousness, ghostlike, influencing his perception of himself.
Last year, having turned into an "adult", Hikaru had resolved to get over his grief for good.
Needless to say, that ended in a futile struggle. Since then, Hikaru has learned that it's okay to have his feelings, even for a long time, not to fight against them. This year, he lets them come.
Just lies there, paying them respect.
[[Go downstairs]]
//But I'll lose.//
[[Do your best]]"Yeah, I'm going out."
Before that, he has something routine and important to do.
[[Call->dial]]Hikaru is nineteen, turning 20 in September. It's been five years since Sai left.
The wound feels...
He couldn't say //fresh like ever//, but it sure hurts.
Maybe one day he'll be strong enough to turn his sadness into strength, but today is, after all, not going to be that day for him.
[[Do something else]]//But my mind's not into it at all. You know that.//
[[Channel his spirit and give it your all]](align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Japan Go Association, how may I help you?</div>]
(click: "Japan Go Association, how may I help you?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Hi, um, this is Shindou 5 Dan.]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I'm calling in to let you know I can't make it to today's Meijin league match.]]
(click: "I'm calling in to let you know I can't make it to today's Meijin league match.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Oh.]
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Is something the matter?]</div>]
(click: "Is something the matter?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I'm feeling sick]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Something personal]]<options|
{(click: "I'm feeling sick")[(replace: ?options)[(display: "sick")]]
(click: "Something personal")[(replace: ?options)[(display: "personal")]]}
Now then, where to?
(click: "where to?")[Turns out mom was watching from the kitchen door.
"Hikaru, are you're going out? Can you pick up some incense from the store next to the temple? They have the kind I always use for the kamidana."
"We're out of incense?"
Mom looks taken aback.
"Yes. Did you need them for something?"
"Nothing. I just thought maybe I'll pray this evening or something."
[[To the temple]]
](align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I'm feeling kind of sick today. Really sick. Can't make it out of bed. Need a day off, sorry.]
{(click: "I'm feeling kind of sick today. Really sick. Can't make it out of bed. Need a day off, sorry." )[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Oh. I see.]
<br>
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">I will let the committee know, Shindou-san.]</div>]
<br>
(click: "I will let the committee know, Shindou-san.")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Thanks. Bye bye.]
<br>
[[Next]]]}(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Something personal has come up, and I can no longer make it to the match. I'm sorry.]
{(click: "Something personal has come up, and I can no longer make it to the match. I'm sorry.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Oh. I see.]
<br>
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">I will let the committee know, Shindou-san.]</div>]
<br>
(click: "I will let the committee know, Shindou-san.")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Thanks. Bye bye.]
<br>
[[Next]]]}(set: $money to 3000)Hikaru walks towards the temple.
On his way, he passes through the neighbourhood, idly noting all the carp flags billowing in the wind.
The incense shop is just around the corner, but Hikaru is considering going to pray in person instead, since he is already here.
There are not many people here at this time of day.
Outside the temple, by the gate, there is a monk begging for money with a bowl in his hand.
[[Give him money]]
[[Do what you came to do]]Something in Hikaru softens, and he approaches the monk.
[[Give him 200 yen]]
[[Give him 500 yen]]
After cleansing himself, Hikaru walks into the temple to pray.
He's not particularly religious, but he's made a habit of praying for Sai every year, and sometimes, too, when he passes by a temple or a shrine here or there and the urge to pray in stillness strikes.
This temple's main hall houses a tall, wooden statue of the Buddha.
Outside is a table on which boxes of incense and candles are offered.
It's silent in the hall.
[[Make an offering]]
[[Just pray]](set: $money to $money - 200)Hikaru gives him two of his 100 yen coins.
"Thank you," says the monk.
[[Chat with the monk]]
[[Do what you came to do]] (set: $money to $money - 500)Hikaru gives him one of his 500 yen coins.
Maybe that'll be enough for a meal. Or whatever else the monk is collecting money for, he wouldn't know.
"Thank you," says the monk.
[[Chat with the monk]]
[[Do what you came to do]] (set: $money to $money - 500)He tosses a 500 yen coin into the collection box, and picks up a stick of incense.
He lights it on the hot burner next to it.
Holds the stick high up and bows. Plants the stick into the large vat where previously lit incense sticks have gone.
Rings the bell. Three times.
Then he puts his hands palms together in front of his chest. From here on, he never has any idea what he's doing.
//Just go with the flow.//(click: "go with the flow")[
Hikaru takes an awfully long time in front of the Buddha statue, but the other people coming and going don't pay him any mind. Sometimes, when he prays at these places, he will conjure up well wishes for Sai, but today he starts off addressing Sai in first person. It's been a while. He recounts the things he wants to tell Sai since the last time they spoke. After that, there's a long period of silenceーa long period of simply being with his mixed cloud of emotions.
//I hope you are doing well. I miss you. I really miss you.//
To his own surprise, he doesn't tear up.
//Kami, Buddha, whoever you are...please take care of Sai for me.//
//Thank you.//
[[Walk out]]
](set: $money to $money - 1500)After exiting the temple grounds, Hikaru picks up the incense his mom asked him to buy.
After that, he keeps walking for a very long time, directionless.
The sun shines directly overhead as he walks without any particular purpose.
Hikaru is lost in thought.(click: "lost in thought")[
What's grief like? He wonders. He's heard that grief is like a tumbling ball bouncing off the walls of a box, upon one side of which is a pain button. When the grief is fresh, the ball is large and runs into the button all the time, but over time the ball of grief gets smaller and triggers the pain button less frequently. Less often, but it still hurts the same.
He doesn't know if it's true. Sometimes it hurts a ton. Sometimes it's but a dull ache in his chest. Maybe some people move on, and some people don't. Maybe Hikaru doesn't want to move on, even if he's beginning to feel like he might just be doing that, moving on. And that doesn't feel okay to him.
Maybe he wants to keep hurting, just to keep something alive.
[[Next->next2]]
]Hikaru rings the bell three times.
Then he puts his hands palms together in front of his chest. From here on, he never has any idea what he's doing.
//Just go with the flow.//(click: "go with the flow")[
Hikaru takes an awfully long time in front of the Buddha statue, but the other people coming and going don't pay him any mind. Sometimes, when he prays at these places, he will conjure up well wishes for Sai, but today he starts off addressing Sai in first person. It's been a while. He recounts the things he wants to tell Sai since the last time they spoke. After that, there's a long period of silenceーa long period of simply being with his mixed cloud of emotions.
//I hope you are doing well. I miss you. I really miss you.//
To his own surprise, he doesn't tear up.
//Kami, Buddha, whoever you are...please take care of Sai for me.//
//Thank you.//
[[Walk out]]
](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Just got off the Shinkansen from Kansai Ki-in.
Heard you forfeited your match? I came back early just to watch it, too.</div>]
|options>[Reply
[[Ignore him]]]
(click: "Reply")[(replace: ?options)[(display: "Reply")]][[Yeah, I did]]
[[Sorry I can't entertain you on this fine afternoon, I have something more important to do]]
Hikaru keeps walking, trying not to lose his train of thought.
He looks around. On one side is the river. On his other side is a shopping street, a windy back alley. If he navigates the alleyways, eventually he'll arrive at a train station. Just inside the entrance, Hikaru sees a vending machine selling discounted train tickets, somewhat rare but not unheard of.
//It would be nice to go somewhere far, just disappear for a while...//
Touya texts again.
(click: "Touya texts again")[(display: "text2")](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Any reason?</div>]
[[I'm sick today]]
[[I just wanted to fuck around and have some fun once in a while]]
[[I don't want to play go anymore]]
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
I see.</div>]
Hikaru is caught off guard. He thought Touya would lose his temper. After all, nothing is more important than Go in his eyes.
Hikaru wonders if he should ask whether something's wrong with Touya when another text comes.
(click: "another text comes")[(display: "text2")](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Where are you?</div>]
Reply
(click-replace: "Reply")[(display: "reply2")]"I'm by the river"
Hikaru texts.
Almost instantly, Touya's reply comes.
"Want to play a game?"
"I don't want to play Go right now." Hikaru says.
Touya texts.
(click: "Touya texts")[(display: "text3")](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Ok. Wait at a cafe nearby, I'll come find you.</div>]
I don't feel like seeing anybody today
(click: "I don't feel like seeing anybody today")[(go-to: "text4")][[Who are you]]
[[Why do you beg for money]]
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
The same way you were sick last year, and the year before?</div>]
Hikaru feels bitter. What would Touya know.
[[What do you want from me?->text2]]
[[Every Children's Day I get possessed by the ghost of my lost childhood taking revenge on me for wasting my precious youth playing an old board game->text2]]
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Go isn't fun?</div>]
[[Some other type of fun->text2]]
[[No->text2]](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Don't even joke about that.
Shindou.</div>]
[[Okay. I'm just kidding, but I need a break today->text2]]He stayed in bed the whole day.
Now he's falling asleep.
[[START]]Hikaru wakes up.
Finally it's Friday.
He's not sure he feels any more freed from the chains of his mixed emotions, but today he no longer has a good excuse not to be a person.
[[Go downstairs->downstairs2]]
[[Stay in bed for a little longer->stay in bed 2]]Meet mom. (click: "mom")[
Mom has made breakfast, as usual. Hikaru might actually eat it today.(click: "eat it")[
It's grilled mackerel with rice, miso soup, and some pickled side dishes.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees mom watching him with eyes of concern.
"What?" He asks.
"Are you feeling ok?"
Hikaru debates which of his emotions to act onーa part of him wants his mom to leave him alone, he's fine already, but the care in her question seeps into him this time around.
"I'm fine now, mom. I'm doing super today." He says with a smile.
She should know that once Golden Week is over, Hikaru goes back to his usual self, but somehow the creases between her brows do not subside.
Now he's a little irritated.
"I'm //fine// mom."
"Alright. Are you going out today?"
"Yeah, [[I will after breakfast]]."
]]Hikaru stays in bed anyway.
He'll get out when he's ready.
He doesn't have any matches today, only some tutoring games at the Go association.
[[Go downstairs->downstairs2]] (align: "=><=")[(set: $counter to 5)
Dialing...
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "Call")]
]]The monk looks startled from the question.
"Me?"
"Yes."
"My...name and identity are not important."
[[Have a nice day->Do what you came to do]] The monk looks down.
"As monks, we take only what we are given. Such is the rule written in the *vinaya*."
Hikaru has no idea what that means.
[[Have a nice day->Do what you came to do]] Before he knows it, he's arrived at the Sumida river.
He pulls out his phone, because it buzzed in his pocket.
When he notices the time, it's already noon.
A text from Touya.
(click: "text from Touya")[(display: "text")](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Oh.
Okay. Enjoy your day.</div>]
Hikaru is disturbed. Touya is behaving out of character. He's leaving Hikaru alone instead of pestering him with whatever he needed from him. Hikaru hadn't expected Touya to actually...agree to his request. Odd. He would ask Touya what's up with him, but he would rather take this chance to be alone right now.
"Thanks, you too," he texts back.
[[Next->next3]]Hikaru wanders around aimlessly.
Whatever it takes to empty his mind.
Next thing he knows, it's 3 PM.
He finds an arcade, spends the rest of his $money yen on some shooting games.
Goes home, watches TV for a while, takes a nap, wakes up in time for dinner, takes a shower and goes to bed.
He's done it. He made it through the day.
A pause in time, once every year. A day he allows himself to just do nothing.
When he wakes up tomorrow, everything will have to return to normal.
[[Sleep->START 2]]
(set: $round to "two")(align: "=><=")[<div class="title">all in good time</div>]
<div class="center">2021
a Hikaru no Go interactive fiction
by olive
[[START]] </div>
(set: $round to "one")"If you're going out, can you pick up some incense from the store next to the temple? They have the kind I always use for the kamidana."
Hikaru stops chewing.(click: "Hikaru stops chewing")[
He looks up from his food.
"Didn't I just buy a new box for you yesterday?"
"What?"
"You said the same thing yesterday."
Mom looks dumbfounded. "What? I don't understand. I just thought we're running low when I checked this morning..."
Hikaru has no idea what she's talking about.
[[Next->next4]]]"Did you misplace it?"
"Misplace what?"
"The one I bought you yesterday."
"What do you mean? Hikaru..."
Hikaru is equally bewildered. He has no idea what to say at this point, so he settles.
"I'll buy you another one, okay?"
"Okay...the kind we use is calledー"
"Baika-ju, I know."
Mom seems no less assured or comprehending. Hikaru has no clue why she's acting like this either, but if he just agreed to her request then he can get on with the rest of his day.
Hikaru ignores her concerned glances as she moves about the kitchen for the rest of his hasty breakfast.
[[Finish breakfast and head out]](set: $money to 3000)Hikaru walks towards the temple.
On his way, he passes through the neighbourhood. One of his neighbours still hasn't taken down their carp flags. As he walks on, he notices that it's not just one house...but many.
He notes all the carp flags billowing in the wind, feeling strange.
The incense shop is just around the corner.
He remembers from yesterday where the Baika-ju boxes were, so he takes one swiftly and heads to the counter.
That's when he realizes that he had spent all his money yesterday in the arcade.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I don't have any money."
He pulls out his wallet from his pocket in a desperate attempt to discover some coins, and finds instead that he has about $money yen in bills and coins sitting in there, exactly as they were yesterday.
The salesman raises an eyebrow.(click: "The salesman raises an eyebrow.")[
Hikaru scratches his head. "Uh. False alarm. Here you go."
He pulls out 1500 yen.(set: $money to $money - 1500)
The salesman is the same one as yesterday. He doesn't ask any questions.
[[Leave]]]Something is not right.
[[???]]//Something is wrong.//
[[Next->next5]]Hikaru walks out of the incense shop.
He loops around the block to the temple, sees that the monk from yesterday is still in the same spot, begging for money.
[[Go pray]]
[[Talk to the monk]]//Why would I go pray again? I just did that yesterday.//
[[Talk to the monk]] Hikaru walks up to the monk.(if: (count: (history:), "Give him money") > 0)[
"It's you again."
The monk looks puzzled.
"I'm sorry...I don't believe we've met."
He really might not remember, Hikaru figures. Many people come and go around here, enough people who give him money that he's bound to forget.
"Sorry, I came by yesterday and barely talked to you, of course you wouldn't remember."
The monk thinks for a moment.(click: "The monk thinks for a moment.")[
"I would have remembered you if you had come by...Shindou 5 Dan."
[[How do you know me]]
[[What day is it]]
]]
(else:)[
"Excuse me," he calls out.
[[What day is it]]]"Don't be alarmed," the monk smiles. "Here at this temple, the monks enjoy playing Go. We are somewhat familiar with the names of the Go world. Besides," his eyes look up from Hikaru's eyes to his hair, "you have an outstanding appearance."
Hikaru fights the blush.
"On that topic, are you not competing in the Meijin league in a few hours? My colleagues are looking forward to the broadcast."
Hikaru's blood drains from his face.
"What?"
[[What day is it]] "It's May 5th today," the monk says.
Hikaru doesn't understand.
[[Take out phone]]He pulls out his phone in disbelief.
True to the monk's word, the phone displays the time.
(align: "====><==")[<div class="yellow">11(text-style: "blink")[:]34 AM
May 5</div>]
[[Try to explain your strange experience]]
[[Leave->leave2]]"That makes no sense."
"What do you mean?"
"It was May 5th yesterday. I came here yesterday. Then I went to buy incense for my mom. Then I woke up today and everybody is acting strange."
"Strange...how?"
"Like it's still yesterday. Am I crazy? What's going on?"
Hikaru looks up at the sky. Looks around. The sun is shining directly overhead, so bright it makes his eyes hurt.
The monk looks at him with a troubled gaze, but does not offer any other words.
A woman approaches to put money in his bowl, and Hikaru moves out of the way.
[[Thank him for his time]]
[[Leave->leave2]]As soon as Hikaru exits the temple grounds, he sends Touya a text.(click: "text")[
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
Touya.
[[Where are you]]?</div>]][[Give him 200 yen->200]]
[[Give him 500 yen->500]]
(set: $money to $money - 200)Hikaru gives him two of his 100 yen coins.
"Thank you," says the monk. "Wishing you all the best."
[[Leave->leave2]] (set: $money to $money - 500)Hikaru gives him one of his 500 yen coins.
"Thank you," says the monk. "Wishing you all the best."
[[Leave->leave2]] (align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
On the Shinkansen. Almost back in Tokyo.
Are you at the Ki-in?</div>]
Hikaru hurriedly texts back. (click: "texts back")[
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
Touya.
[[Something is wrong]].</div>]](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
...
What's wrong?</div>]
Hikaru thinks hard about what best to tell him.
[[I'm reliving yesterday]]
[[I can't go to my match today]]
[[I'll tell you later]](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
I'm reliving yesterday. I don't know what's going on. It was May 5th yesterday and when I woke up it was May 5th again. I swear I've already lived this day. [[Am I crazy]]?</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
[[I can't go to my Meijin league match today]].</div>]
He sends, then he feels half crazy, because that match happenedーor didn't happenー//yesterday//.(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
I'll tell you about it later.
I'm at ______. [[I'm going to wait for you in a cafe]]. Come ASAP when you're back.</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
...
Are you ok? Did you not sleep well?
It was May 4th yesterday.</div>]
Hikaru sighs heavily. There's no way he can convince Touya he's not fucking with him over text.
[[I'll tell you later]] (align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
Oh.
I see.</div>]
Hikaru didn't know why he thought Touya might be the exception to this insane time lag everyone else is experiencing.
[[You're coming to watch it]](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
[[Let me guess. You were planning to come back from Osaka to watch it, right?]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
Well. Kind of.
How did you know?</div>]
[[I'll tell you later]] The reply comes a few minutes later, to Hikaru's relief.
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
Alright.
If Ogata-san knew I was helping you skip your match, he would scold me to no end. So you better explain yourself.</div>](if: (count: (history:), "I can't go to my match today") < 1)[
"How did you know I'm not going?"
"A hunch," Touya texts.]
[[Go to cafe]]The cafe he chose isn't busy. As opposed to a few modern and chic ones he passed by, this one is decorated to look rather welcoming.
Outside sits a sign board that says:
<div class="box">(align: "==><==")[<b>Thursday Special</b>
<div class="yellowsmall">Katsu Curry + Drink
¥1000</div>]</div>
It isn't until he sees this that he realizes it's noonーlunch time.
A waitress greets him on her way outside.
"Welcome!"
[[Order]]
He goes up to the counter to order. Katsu curry sounds good. (set: $money to $money - 1000)
Touya arrives just as he's finishing his meal.
He walks in looking out of place, donning a suit and carrying a shoulder bag. He looks around. Hikaru waves, and Touya sees him. (click: "Touya sees him")[
"Well," Touya says, setting his bag down and pulling out the chair across from him.
"Welcome back, Mr. Important."
Touya barely bats his lashes. "Who do we have here, Mr. Slacker."
"Isn't today just a fine day to ~slack off~? It's the holidays!"
Touya opens his mouth to say something, but on second thought closes it again. He sighs.
"How are you?" He asks instead.
Hikaru stare right into his eyes while he slurps the last of his drink from the straw. "Good as ever, why?"
Touya's brows furrow. "Are you...okay?"
"Yeah, fine. Superb. Peachy. What's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with //you//?"
Hikaru's cell phone buzzes. (click: "cell phone buzzes")[
[[Incoming: Ogata]]]]"Why would Ogata be calling me?"
Hikaru suddenly remembers that he never called the Go Association this morning to forfeit his match. Why would he have to when today is not yesterday?!
"Shit. Touya, what day is today?"
"May 5th...?" Touya looks incredibly concerned.
"Shit. Alright, okay."
[[Pick up]](align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Hello?]
(click: "Hello?")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Shindou? Where are you?</div>]]
(click: "Shindou? Where are you?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">*cough* *cough*</div>]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I'm sick at home. Really sick. Got a fever. And a cold. And I'm vomiting. *nauseous sounds*</div>]]
(click: "I'm sick at home. Really sick. Got a fever. And a cold. And I'm vomiting.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">What? What about the match? You're five minutes away from being disqualifiedー</div>]]
(click: "What? What about the match? You're five minutes away from being disqualifiedー")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Eugh. Sorry. Forgot to call in this morning. I can't make it. Touya, pass me the waterー</div>]]
(click: "Eugh. Sorry. Forgot to call in this morning. I can't make it. Touya, pass me the waterー")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Akira is with you? Let me speak to him.</div>]
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Shindou? Hello?</div>]]
(click: "Shindou? Hello?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Ogata-san.</div>]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">It's me. Shindou is um...really sick. I'm taking care of him right now. He's really sorry that he can't make it and forgot to call in. Please excuse him and let him rest.</div>]]
(click: "It's me. Shindou is um...really sick. I'm taking care of him right now. He's really sorry that he can't make it and forgot to call in. Please excuse him and let him rest.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">...</div>]
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">I see. I'll let them know.</div>]
[[End call]]]Hikaru snaps the phone closed.
"PHEW!!" He's covered in cold sweat.
He looks at Touya across from him, eyes sparkling. (click: "eyes sparkling")[
"Touya, what was that?! I always thought you were such a bad liar, who knew you //can// put on an act!"
"Why would I voluntarily lie if you didn'tーif you weren't out of your mind today?!"
"Ahaha, sorry sorry. Thanks, I owe you one."
"The only thing you owe me is a good explanation. What the hell is going on?"
[[Tell him the truth]]
[[Make up a lie]]
]"Touya...you won't believe this, but I'm reliving yesterday." Hikaru clutches his head.
Touya looks perplexed. "What do you mean?" (click: "What do you mean?")[
"I've already lived through today yesterday. It was May 5th yesterday. Today should be May 6th. The world is acting like it's lagging behind a day."
"Wha..."
Hikaru assesses Touya's expression. "You don't believe me."
"How can I? What you're saying is absurd."
"But it's true," Hikaru sighs. "Yesterday I went on an errand for my mom, and today she asked me to run the same errand. I went to the shrine to pray and saw the same monk." He stops. He's suddenly aware of how insubstantial his evidence sounds. "Forget it. I don't know why I thought you would believe me."
"Did we come here yesterday, too?"
"No...I didn't want to see anyone yesterday."
Hikaru thinks there's a flash of understanding in Touya's eyes.
"You do seem...unlike how I expected you to be today."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know...not...like this."
Hikaru thinks he might know what Touya means by "not like this". He sighs again.
"That's because it's already tomorrow for me."
"Then why didn't you play your match?"
"It was too late when I found out."
Touya seems deep in thought.
"...the first day of a time loop is virtually impossible to prove..." he mumbles.
[["What?"]]
]Hikaru considers lying. After all, it'll be over by tomorrow, and it's too much work to have to explain this bizarre dream he's living.
//But Touya might be the only person who will believe me.//
A familiar feeling runs down his spine. It's the feeling he gets every time he contemplates telling Touya about Sai. It's fearーfear that he won't be believed. Fear that he will be made fun of, called a liar and insulted. To think Touya might react negatively has deterred him from speaking about it all this time.
//If he won't believe me now, how would he ever believe me?//
[[Tell him the truth]] "Did you just say 'time loop'?"
"No, no, I'm just thinking nonsense. What you're saying reminded me of a movie I watched when I was young, about time loops. Eventually the guy stuck in a loop could 'predict' things that will happen or things people will say, and that's what convinced his friend."
Hikaru's brows are pinched. "You're saying this isn't a time lag, but a time //loop//? As in this will happen again tomorrow?!"
Touya's face returns to normal from the look of fond recollection. "I'm not saying I believe you, Shindou. Not yet, at least."
"Not yet?"
Outside, a train passes by, trailing behind it the distorted sound of its horn. At the same moment, two women walk into the cafe, and the bell on the door jangles.
Touya flips open his phone, shows Hikaru the time. It's 1:20 pm.
[[Next->next6]]
"If you really are stuck in a time loop, then tomorrow I won't remember any of this, but you will. Invite me here at the same time and at 1:19 tell me a train is about to pass while these women walk in. Oh, and..." Touya reaches into his shoulder bag. He pulls out his wallet, files through it and fishes out a receipt, and a ticket stub. "You can also 'predict' when I'm about to get on the Shinkansen, and when I'm about to buy an eel bento on the Shinkansen." He hands the slips to Hikaru.
Hikaru is baffled. "You think this will convince you?"
"It's worth a shot."
"You think I'll really loop again?!"
"Who knows. If you don't, and May 6th comes tomorrow normally, then I'm willing to forgive you for your fever-cold-nausea delirium and pretend this never happened and move on."
Hikaru gawks at Touya. "I can't believe you actually believe me."
"This is not the story I expected to hear coming to meet you today, but it's not the worst story you can probably make up."
Hikaru lets out a disbelieving sigh. "You're being awfully understanding today."
Touya chews on his lip for a long time. "[[I'm just glad you're feeling ok.]]"Hikaru sits for a while, feeling fond and grateful for Touya.
Then he remembers something he almost forgot.
"Do you know what causes time loops? What can I do to get out of it?"
"Mm...not sure. Even the movie never revealed why he got into a time loop. I personally think it's divine intervention of some sort."
//Divine intervention.//
The blood drains from Hikaru's face.
Touya notices. "Shindou?"
//[[Divine intervention...like Sai.]]//
"Oh...I see." He says weakly, all the while head filling with thoughts.
//Could it be...Sai?//
Against his will, the hopes that Sai is above watching him and orchestrating this whole play rises up in his chest, to be replaced almost immediately with an ice cold reality check, a refutation of such a naive desire.
The gods gave Sai to him, and the gods took him away. And that was that.
Now, they're wrapping him up in their cruel games yet again.
[[Next->next7]]He spends the rest of the day with Touya, after Touya invites him to his apartment. Hikaru didn't want to hang around the streets any longer in fear of Ogata popping up around any corner and catching him out on his lie. Touya replays his own game from last night for him, and they discuss, they play, they bicker and fight.
As if it were any other day.
Whatever happens tomorrow...only time will tell.
[[Sleep->START 3]]
(set: $round to "three")"How can I get out?" Hikaru grits his teeth.
Touya, still, looks concerned. "I'm not sure either, but in the movie the man reached some revelation one day after looping enough times and changed into a whole new person."
"Great," Hikaru says flatly.
"Sorry...that must not be reassuring."
"Hah."
"But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe there's a road block you're stuck behind, something you have yet to overcome..."
Touya searches his eyes, but Hikaru avoids him.
"You said you went to pray yesterday? Maybe the gods heard you."
"I didn't pray for a time loop!"
"What were you praying for then...?"
Hikaru sighs. "My unborn children. C'mon, Touya, [[let's get out of here]]."Hikaru wakes up.
The first thing he does is look at the time. (click: "look at the time")[
(align: "====><==")[<div class="yellow">9(text-style: "blink")[:]55 AM
May 5</div>]
"Damn it." He says out loud, the falls back heavily into bed.
[[Go downstairs->downstairs3]]
]Meet mom. (click: "mom")[
Mom has made breakfast. It's grilled mackerel with rice, miso soup, and some pickled side dishes. Hikaru eats it for the second day in a row.
He eats hastily and silently while his mom looks on from the side, worried.
"Hikaru...are you feeling ok?"
"Yeah. I feel fine. I'm going out today. And let me guess, you need some incense from the store?"
Mom looks shocked. "Yes, how did you...how did you know?"
Hikaru doesn't answer, just drops his dishes in the sink.
"Thanks for breakfast. I'm going now."
"Okay...wait! The kind I like isー"
"Baika-ju. [[See ya, mom.]]"
]Hikaru marches towards the temple.
On his way, he passes through the neighbourhood, disregarding all the carp flags billowing in the wind.
He knows why he's going. He has a very specific purpose in mind.
[[Next->next8]]He arrives at the temple.
A little earlier than usual, but the monk is still standing there in the same spot.
[[Talk to the monk->talk2]]
[[Give him money->give2]]Hikaru wonders if it isn't a little rude to start interrogating the poor guy without giving him some money first.
[[Give him money->give2]](set: $money to 2000)Hikaru takes out his wallet.
He opens it and takes out all the bills and coins.
"Here. Take this. Just take it all."
"Thank you for your kindness, but I don't need this much, sir."
The monk refuses to extend his bowl to accept Hikaru's outstretched offering.
"I want to help."
"Please keep enough for yourself."
Hikaru realizes he really isn't going to take his entire wallet, or anything at this rate, so he settles with giving the monk a 1000 yen bill.
[[Talk to the monk->talk3]]Where does he even begin?
[[Do you remember me]]
[[What do you know about time loops]]
[[I'm stuck in a time loop]]"Do you remember me?"
The monk looks puzzled.
"No, unfortunately..."
//Of course not.//
"But you know me."
"...yes."
"Your temple likes to play Go and are looking forward to my match later?"
"...Yes?"
The monk looks even more puzzled. "How do you know, Shindou-san?"
Hikaru sighs. "You told me yesterday."
[[Ask something else->talk3]] "I'm wondering, um, what does your religion say about time loops?"
"Time loops?"
"Yeah, like someone being stuck living the same day over and over again."
The monk looks as perplexed as he's ever looked.
"As far as I know...Buddhism believes in no such thing and has never commented about it."
"So if I pray here, it's unlikely that that causes the gods to throw me into a time loop?"
"Um..." The monk is thoroughly baffled. "I...I cannot speak for the gods."
[[Ask something else->talk3]] (if: (count: (history:), "I'm stuck in a time loop") > 0)[ [[Pursue the topic of time loops further]] ](else:)["I know you don't know me, but I need your help. I'm stuck in a time loop. This is the third day in a row in which I woke up and it's May 5th. I'm reliving the same day. I've been reliving the same day ever since I prayed here."
The monk's expression is hard to read.
"I'm not sure I understand..."
"You're not sure you believe me." Hikaru corrects.
"I'm sorry...what you describe is quite an extraordinary circumstance."
Hikaru sighs briskly, a little frustrated. He thought he would get some answers, but this is going nowhere.
"Wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me."
"What do you mean by that?"
[[Tell him about your other extraordinary circumstance]]
[[Pursue the topic of time loops further]]
]"This isn't the first time the gods have interfered with my life."
"What do you mean?"
[[Tell him about Sai]]
[[Back->I'm stuck in a time loop]] "Nevermind that. Let's just say that if I //were// hypothetically being sent into a time loop by the gods right now, what would be the reason for it?"
"Hypothetically?"
"Yes."
Hikaru waits with anticipation. The monk thinks for a while. Then he starts to speak.
"Everything in the world is a matter of cause and effect. Every action you take influences your situation and your subsequent action to your situation, and that influences the next set of conditions and responses, in a loop, on and on. This momentum, this energy is carried at the end of one's life into one's next life as well. In Buddhist teachings, all of life is reincarnated in an endless time loop, unless you escape this cycle through enlightenment."
"You're telling me I have to become enlightened to escape this time loop?!"
"Please let me finish." (click: "Please let me finish.")[
"While all things arise out of previous causes and conditions, that is not to say that all things arise out of divine will, although in a sense it can certainly be argued that the cosmos is coordinated by the gods. Regardless, whether such a hypothetical time loop is caused by something or occurs spontaneously, like life itself, which just comes into being without the individual's choice, every moment spent within it is a moment ripe with the potential for learning and growth.
"With enough learning and growth, one learns to manifest the enlightenment within oneself. Such enlightenment is closer than you may think. This endless cycle called *samsara* is the only 'time loop' Buddhism acknowledges, and to become enlightened is the only way to escape it that Buddhism knows.
"Without insight into one's suffering and the causes of it, every day is a time loop. Any experience can be a good opportunity to bring oneself closer to awakening, Shindou-san."
[[Leave->next9]]
]
Hikaru leaves the temple.
His head hurts from all the monk's cryptic answers, but the gist that he grasped seems to be along the lines of what Touya said. There may be no good reason why he's here, but there is a revelation to be had, a change to be arrived at, that will break the loop.
[[Text Touya]]"When I was 12 I became possessed by a ghost. He was the ghost of Honinbou Shusakuーyes, that Shusaku. He taught me how to play Go and that's how I'm where I am today. He was my best friend. Then five years ago on May 5th he vanished. That's why I think it's no coincidence that I'm being made to relive May 5th over and over again. The gods are playing with my life again. When will they leave me alone? I still haven'tーnevermind."
For a long while, the monk is silent.
"You must still be feeling grief," the monk ventures.
Hikaru's eyes bulge wide. "You actually believe me?"
"It doesn't matter what I believe is true or untrue. I can understand what you're feeling, that is all."
Hikaru deflates a little. The monk seems to notice.
"It seems like you want to be heard and believed...but not by me, I would imagine."
[[Back->I'm stuck in a time loop]] Hikaru texts Touya. With some convincing, he manages to get Touya to meet him at the same cafe as yesterday.
He orders a soup and sandwich. No more katsu curry.
[[Wait for Touya]]Close to 1:00, Touya shows up at the cafe. Hikaru waves him over.
Talking to the monk was easy. Hikaru knows the hard part is just about to begin.
"Hey Touya," he says as Touya sits down across from him.
"Hey Shindou." Touya sets his bag down. "How are you?"
"Fine. I'm doing fantastic."
"That's sarcasm," Touya says flatly.
"Well, you might be right. I've had a rough morning trying to convince a monk at the temple that I'm stuck in a time loop."
Touya is speechless. "That sounds like just random words stringed together."
"Nevermind," Hikaru sighs. He would lie down face flat if he didn't have plates in front of him.
"So? Why aren't you at your Meijin league match?"
"I'm stuck in a time loop," Hikaru mumbles.
"You don't have to lie if you're not feeling well."
"I'm not lying." Hikaru sits up straighter. "Nice tie, Touya. Good thing you chose the blue one today because I think the yellow looks awful."
"Whー! How did you know I was deciding between the two?"
"Because you told me yesterday. I still think you can work on your fashion sense, but I know you've improved beyond yellow ties over the years. You must have been subconsciously influenced towards yellow by all the ducks you dreamt about yesterday. But then again, why did you pack it to begin with? Maybe you really haven't improved at all. Tsk tsk."
"Whー!! Hey, how did you know I dreamー"
"Hold on. Ogata is about to call me."
[[Incoming: Ogata->ogata2]]Hikaru takes the call with a straight face, watching Touya's contort in bewilderment as he once again puts him through the labor of pretending to be taking care of Hikaru at home.
"What if I didn't go along with your lie?! What if I called you out?!"
"You wouldn't. You didn't yesterday, for whatever reason."
"You keep saying yesterday yesterday, I have no idea what you're talking about! I was in Osaka yesterdayー"
"That's your yesterday. My yesterday is May 5th. I'm in a time loop, remember? In my loop, we met up yesterday, you explained to me what a time loop is, told me some stuff about you that I wouldn't know to prove to yourself today that I'm not lying."
Touya's eyes widen, then narrow.
"What did I tell you?"
"You pulled out our train ticket and told me you took the 8:05 Shinkansen Hikari, and at 11:13 you bought an eel bento on the train."
Touya double checks with his receipts, and his wide eyed expression looks frozen.
"That'sーthat's impossible..."
"Oh, it's possible. What time is it?"
"It's 1:18?"
"In two minutes, a loud train will pass by, and we'll hear it clearly because two women in skirts will open the front door."
[[Wait for 1:20 in silence]]1:20 comes, exactly as Hikaru prophesied.
"Ok. *What* is going on."
Hikaru feels relief. He can tell Touya is begrudgingly somewhat convinced.
"I'm not lying, Touya. I'm stuck in a time loop."
Touya thinks for a long time.
"Does this happen to you every year?"
Hikaru is the one caught off guard now.
"No, it's the first time, what do you mean?"
[[Touya eyes him warily.]]"It's just...every year you start acting weird around this time."
Hikaru's face drops. "Oh...you know about that?"
"Shindou," Touya sounds exasperated. "We've been friends for five years."
"Yeah, but I've never met up with you on this day in the past."
"I know...I didn't know what it was either until I overheard Waya and Isumi saying you might forfeit your match today. They said 'what can you do, it's Children's Day', so I thought...I don't know. Shindou. You're always weird around Golden Week."
Hikaru looks away from the accusation. "Yeah. Well. Anyway, the time loop has nothing to do with that."
"What is that about, then?"
[["Can we worry about my time loop first?!"]]
"Shindouー! Do you even know how worried I get every year?"
Hikaru blinks. "What?"
"Every year around this time I start worrying the next day you'll tell me you're never playing Go again!"
"Iーthat was one time! I've never said that since, and I won't ever say it again, okay?!"
Hikaru didn't meant to raise his voice. From the looks of things, neither did Touya.
"What happened back then?" Touya whispers.
"I didn't come here to talk about that today, Touya."
Touya pauses. Then he takes a deep breath.
"Okay. [[We don't have to talk about it.]]""Thank you," Hikaru says, feeling a little exhausted.
"So? You want to talk about your time loop?"
[[So you really believe me]]
[[I have to do something different]]
"So...you really believe me?"
Touya sighs. "I have no choice but to, Shindou. You're predicting the future. And you know too much about me. I don't know what I could've told you, but it's unsettling."
"If I...one day...told you some truth that sounds impossible, you would believe me?"
"If you have enough evidence to convince me, yeah."
Hikaru swallows really hard.
[[I have to do something different]]"It seems like to get out of my time loop, I have to do something different. But what?"
Touya thinks for a while.
"What's something you have trouble with on this specific day?"
"Something I have trouble doing on May 5th..."
//Moving on.//
//That's absurd.
Surely the gods can't be expecting me to live through this day over and over until I move on. That's not going to happen. I'm not moving on. I'm not going to forget about him. I'd rather be stuck here for eternity than live one day without caring about Sai.//
He looks up. Touya is studying his expression with a hesitance and gentleness he doesn't expect from him. Hikaru wonders what expression he has on right now.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing...sorry. I got distracted. Something I have trouble with..."
//[[It can't be that. It can't be.]]//"Say, have you tried going to your Meijin league match at all during your loop?"
Hikaru's eyes widen. "No. I usually have trouble playing at this time of the year."
"Well..."
"That's it. I have to go to my match. Touya, you're a genius."
Touya looks wary. "I'm not certain about it, but that's something you could try."
"I will. Tomorrow."
"I wonder if it's really that simple," Touya says. "I wonder if there's really no connection between this time loop of yours and whatever you're not telling me about this specific day."
Hikaru thinks. "To be honest, I agree there is."
"Shindou..."
"Touya, sometimes...you're [[too sharp for your own good]].""Would it really hurt for you to tell me?"
*Yes.*
*No. Maybe.
I can never find the right occasion to bring it up to him.*
"Don't worry about it, I think I have it figured out."
"It's too late to tell me not to worry, I've already become swept up in this time loop of yours..."
"Don't worry about it, Touya. It's not like you'll remember any of this by tomorrow. Anyway, I gotta go."
"Waitーwhere to?"
"To sleep."
"At one PM?"
"The faster I get to tomorrow, the faster I get out of this."
Touya looks sad.
"Time is going to pass by at all the same rate, it won't hurry up just for you."
Touya has a point. He'll have to wait for his match tomorrow anyway. Hikaru sinks into the seat.
"Besides...I'm already here. [[Why not enjoy a game with me?]]"Hikaru lets time slow down, lets go of the feeling that he's racing to get out of the moment. He finds that it's not so bad. If he forgets all context, he's just at a cafe, having a relaxing day off with a friend.
*Maybe it's not so bad to go on like this,* he has the crazy thought.
*If I have to forget about Sai to return to normal, then I'd rather stay like this.*
He follows Touya back to his apartment, listens to Touya recount to him the same stories about his Osaka trip as he had told him the day before, letting him go on enthusiastically without interrupting.
On the Go board, he finds some semblance of sanityーevery individual move made, every different decision leads to a wholly different game. This has not changed. They play a different game from the day before. Hikaru finds thrill, as always, in searching his rival's brain for all the potential responses he can offer to Hikaru's own ingenuity.
If they could go on playing wonderful games like this, it wouldn't be so bad.
[[Sleep->START 4]]
(Set: $round to "four")Hikaru wakes up. It's May 5th.
[[Go downstairs->downstairs 4]]Meet mom. (click: "mom")[
Mom has made breakfast. It's grilled mackerel with rice, miso soup, and some pickled side dishes. Hikaru eats it for the third day in a row.
He's aware of his mom watching him, worry in her eyes.
He looks up from his food.
"Mom, I'm doing fine today, don't worry. I'm going out later. I have a really important match to play."
Mom looks like she's not sure what to say. "Oh...well, do your best later then. I'm cheering for you."
Hikaru smiles slightly. "I will. Is there anything you want me to pick up on my way?"
"Oh...actually, can you pick up some incense from the store next to the temple? They have the kind I always use for the kamidana."
"Ok, mom. What kind do you like?
"It's called Baika-ju."
"[[Ok. I got it.]]"
]It's finally time.
[[Go to the match->match 2]]Hikaru goes to his match.
It's a good match. With the reassurance of the knowledge that this is the final challenge, and the reassurance of Touya's trust, Touya's presence in the viewing room watching him, Hikaru plays a beautiful game. It's been days since the memory of Sai had been sitting on his mind, and he plays with no distractions, playing the Go that is an amalgamation of Sai's and his own.
He wins, and Waya and Isumi all but drag him out to celebrate.
Now he's got the best score in the league. Maybe he'll even get to keep it tomorrow.
"What's different this year?" Waya asks.
"You wouldn't believe me. Besides, it doesn't matter, 'cause tomorrow everything will just go back to normal."
[[Sleep->START 5]]
(set: $round to "five")Hikaru wakes up. It takes a moment for him to get his bearings. The moment he becomes conscious enough, he jumps off the bed to grab his phone.
He flips it open, heart pounding. (click: "flips it open")[
(align: "====><==")[<div class="yellow">9(text-style: "blink")[:]55 AM
May 5</div>]
(set: $counter to 8)
[]<click|
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(replace: ?click)[{[[Next->next11]]}]]
]
]
(link: "Hikaru goes back to bed.")[
(link: "Hikaru stays there.")[
(link: "And stays there...")[
(link: "And stays there.")[
[[Sleep->START 6]] (set: $round to "six")
] ]
]
][[Nothing seems to matter anymore.]]*[[No matter what I do, I won't be able to get out.]]**[[I don't want to forget about Sai.]]**[[Sai...I know you wouldn't want me to live like this, but I'm sorry.]]*[[A day passes by, too meaningless to remember.]]
(set: $round to "seven")[[Hikaru doesn't see Touya today.]]
(set: $round to "eight")[[Or today.]]
(set: $round to "nine")Or today.
He takes the train from Kantou to Kyushu, letting the meaningless minutes trickle by, going absolutely nowhere except away from here. When it feels like he's reached the end of his world, he stays at a little inn, falls asleep on an unfamiliar futon...
[[Sleep->START 10]]
(set: $round to "ten")And wakes up in his bed.
There's only faint disappointment. But Hikaru already knew that he can't run.
So instead, he lies there for a long time. He watches the translucent curtains sway in the gentle spring wind. Looks on at the billowing carp flags in the yard next to his.
The gold embellishment on the father's black flag glimmers under the sun. And for the first time, image held by the rectangular frame of his window, midground filled serendipitously with a lush branch, flags undulating softly with signs of life and motion, Hikaru thinks the view from his room looks rather lovely.
He remembers something he had thought what felt like ages ago:
*[[Maybe it's not so bad to go on like this.]]*
Meet mom. (click: "mom")[
Mom has made breakfast. It's grilled mackerel with rice, miso soup, and some pickled side dishes. Hikaru doesn't want to eat it anymore, but he does.
"It's good, mom."
"Eh?"
"It tastes good." (click: "It tastes good")[
Mom looks aghast. Hikaru smiles at her, but it makes the pinch between her brows worse. Hikaru knows what she will ask. He lets her ask him.
"Hikaru...are you feeling ok?"
"I'm doing alright."
She seems unconvinced, but Hikaru knew he wouldn't be able to convince her. He feels responsible for having subjected her to an eternity of worrying about him. He can't get rid of it for her, but he can do his best to be happy, to be genuinely ok, if only it eases her mind just a little.
After breakfast, he gives her a hug. "I love you, mom. I'm going out."
She's frozen stiff in his tall embrace. Doesn't even recover in time to ask him to bring the incense.
[[Go out]]
]
](align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Japan Go Association, how may I help you?</div>]
(click: "Japan Go Association, how may I help you?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Hi, this is Shindou 5 Dan.]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I'm calling in to let you know I can't make it to today's Meijin league match.]]
(click: "I'm calling in to let you know I can't make it to today's Meijin league match.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Oh.]
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Is something the matter?]</div>]
(click: "Is something the matter?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Something personal has come up, and I can no longer make it to the match. I'm sorry.]
(click: "Something personal has come up, and I can no longer make it to the match. I'm sorry.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Oh. I see.]
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">I will let the committee know, Shindou-san.]</div>]
(click: "I will let the committee know, Shindou-san.")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Thanks.</div>]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I hope you have a good day, Kawakami-san. Take care. Bye bye.</div>]
[[Next->next12]]]]
(align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
Touya. [[Are you busy?]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
No, just sitting on the Shinkansen.
I'm coming back early to watch your Meijin league match.
[[Why do you ask?]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
[[17-4]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
...
[[Shouldn't you be getting ready?]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
...
[[4-16]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
4-4.
[[If I win, you have to do what I say.]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Touya Akira
To: Shindou Hikaru
17-16.
[[What is this all of a sudden?]]</div>](align: "====><==")[<div class="box">From: Shindou Hikaru
To: Touya Akira
Just play me. I'll tell you later.
[[15-3]]</div>]Hikaru's waiting by the gates when Touya comes into view from the direction of the train station.
When Touya spots him, he pauses in his tracks in disbelief.
[[Wave at Touya]]"You're kidding me," Touya greets.
"Hello to you too."
"An amusement park? Are you twelve?"
"What? I wanted to be amused."
"You forfeited your league match to do *this*? You played such a desperate game against me so you could make *me* do this with you?"
"I'm in need of a pick-me-up, Touya. Will you accompany me?"
"You...I-I guess...[[it's not like I have a choice.]]"
(set: $rides to 0){(if: (count: (history:), "it's not like I have a choice.") > 0)["Touya, Which do you want to try next?"
<br>
<br>(if: (count: (history:), "Pirate ship") < 1)[{[[Pirate ship]]}]
<br>(if: (count: (history:), "Roller coaster") < 1)[{[[Roller coaster]]}]
<br>(if: (count: (history:), "Carousel") < 1)[{[[Carousel]]}]
<br>(if: (count: (history:), "Haunted house") < 1)[{[[Haunted house]]}]
<br>(if: (count: (history:), "Drop tower") < 1)[{[[Drop tower]]}]
<br>
<br>(if: $rides is 5)[{[[Ferris wheel]]}]
]
(else:)["Touya, Which do you want to try first?"
<br>
<br>[[Pirate ship]]
<br>[[Roller coaster]]
<br>[[Carousel]]
<br>[[Haunted house]]
<br>[[Drop tower]]
]
}(set: $rides to $rides + 1)"This looks elementary."
"Have you never been on a pirate ship before?"
"I didn't come to these places often when I was young."
"Don't underestimate the pirate ship."
They ride the pirate ship, and it carries them through the rough oceans and turbulent seas. Hikaru has a good time cheering with the rest of the kids on the ride. He looks over at Touya, who clenches his eyes, only to open them wide soon after as if having them closed is making it worse.
Hikaru laughs at Touya, his laughter drowned out in the crowd.
After, Touya clutches his temples. "I could feel my guts sliding around my stomach every time. And they kept doing it *again and again*."
"It's just a feeling at the base of your stomach, it's not literal like that."
[[Back->it's not like I have a choice.]](set: $rides to $rides + 1)"What if it goes off rail?"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I didn't hear what you said."
"I didn't say anything."
"Touya...are you scared? There are seatbelts for a reason, otherwise we'd all die when it goes upside down."
"IT GOES UP...side down?!"
Indeed it goes. Hikaru has a great time shouting. He loves the feeling of the anticipation building during the climb and the feeling of being at the zenith before the drop. In fact, he loves it so much he makes them line up for it twice.
Touya looks a little green after.
"Are you ok? Do you need some food or drinks?"
"Don't talk about food right now."
[[Back->it's not like I have a choice.]](set: $rides to $rides + 1)"The carousel? Really? And you say I'm twelve."
"It had the shortest line, ok?"
"I bet you're just scared to ride the other stuff."
"T-that's not true!"
Hikaru rides a tiger. Akira rides a rabbit. The carousel swings them up into the air and wide, gently, giving them a sweeping view of the park. Hikaru feels the soft wind on his skin. It's not particularly engaging, but a nice feeling all the same, as if he's flying.
Touya seems to be uncharacteristically enjoying himself on this ride.
[[Back->it's not like I have a choice.]](set: $rides to $rides + 1)"Do you think this is even worth going into?"
"Why?"
"Because...you know it's all fake."
"Touya...you're such an amateur. That, or a party pooper."
Turns out, it's the former. Touya keeps his lips zipped and teeth clenched for the first half of the journey, so convincingly that Hikaru thinks he's really quite formidable, until a zombie reaches out his hand and grabs Touya's ankle, and an ear splitting shriek can be heard from the entrance and exit doors.
"I'm *never* coming to this kind of place with you again."
"You say that like you embarassing yourself is my fault."
"It *is* your fault."
[[Back->it's not like I have a choice.]](set: $rides to $rides + 1)"Shindou. I don't like this."
"I can tell. Touya, it's gonna be fine."
"Why does it keep going up. I just wanna come down."
"Aww...do you need to hold my hand?"
"Shut up. Ugh, I feel sick."
The ascent comes to a halt. Touya makes the mistake of looking down.
"*Oh my god. Shindou give me your hand. SHINDOU! SHINDOUUUUUUUUuuuu...!!!*"
[[Back->it's not like I have a choice.]]"And the best for last."
"Do we have to line up for this? We've been here for hours."
"C'mon, I wanted to save this for when the sun went down."
It's nearing evening. The sun is wavering along the horizon. Hikaru gestures for Touya to step into the cart first. They sit across from each other, Touya looking out at the sunset city with a hand propped against his cheek.
"Did you have fun?" Hikaru asks.
"Hah. This is not my kind of fun."
"Loosen up once in a while."
Touya looks over. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah. Although I feel like seeing your reactions was more fun than the rides themselves."
Touya doesn't defend himself. Instead, he says fondly, "[[as long as you're happy.]]"Hikaru can't help but smile back.
"Every day, you do something different," he says. "And it always surprises me. It's like I can input a different stimulus and receive a different response every time."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Every day, we play a different game of Go..."
He had long understood that he no longer feels the loneliness from the hole Sai left in his heart, because he has friends like Touya, whose back he watches as they climb the endless flight of stairs towards their destiny. On this path, there are many. No one can ever replace Sai in his heart, but he doesn't have to be empty anymore if he just let everyone else in.
To hold onto grief, which consequently keeps the memory of Sai alive, does not have to conflict with the simultaneous process of moving on.
(click: "Every day, you do something different")[Despite Touya's humanness, Hikaru thinks about how now, everything has changed. The world will stay still while only he progresses and changes. He's so sad to think that, in months, in a year, he'll overtake Touya in terms of Go, their level gap drawing larger and larger as it goes on. He's so sad that Touya will retain none of these loving memories that Hikaru alone will treasure forever. Yet, he can always enjoy something new with Touya every day, live each day differently, live each day to its fullest, and it feels not so bad.
He's so sad to be the only one in the world, [[but it feels not so unbearable.]]
]
"You're not going to ask me why I skipped my match today?" (click: "You're not going to ask me why I skipped my match today?")[
"You must have your reasons."
Hikaru pokes at Touya's display of vulnerability a little. "You know...you're awfully caring and lenient with me today."
Touya rolls his eyes, looking back at the scenery. They're at the top of the ferris wheel, with a gorgeous view of the city lights coming alive.
"You cause others to worry about you sometimes," Touya replies.
"So you're worried about me~"
"If you ever want somebody to talk to, I'm here. I hope you know that."
"I know. You're a good friend, Touya."
A pause as they descend. Hikaru turns around in his seat, eyes glued to the sweeping scene. "Wah..." He exclaims. The mood in the cart is relaxed. They've both dropped their guards, and any facade that pretends they're not [[each other's best friends.]]
]"Hey...why do you drop off the grid on May 5th every year?"
Without turning around, Hikaru replies. "I want to spend the day to myself."
"Why?"
"Maybe I'll tell you someday."
"You've said that to me once before. And I've been waiting...waiting ever since. Maybe the world has forgotten about SAI, maybe the world knows nothing about your mystery, but I will never forget. Shindou. Give me an answer...give me a signal..."
Hikaru is silent.
When he turns back around, Touya is looking at him, and for the first time Hikaru feels his boundless patience, vast as the ocean. He can feel Touya's blazing desire to understand, which has been put to rest for so long by his acceptance and accomodation for Hikaru's comfort. Touya, whose life had been irrevocably intertwined in Hikaru's own fate, wrapped up in Sai's orchestration and had been inexorably changed by himーHikaru knows Touya deserves to know.
"What better day than today to tell me?" Touya whispers.
*What better day than today to tell him, if none of it will matter by tomorrow?*
The cart jolts slightly, falling into place.
[[The ride is over.]]They go to have dinner.
Outside the ramen shop, Hikaru bids Touya goodbye.
He lifts a hand, rests it on Touya's arm.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long. I should have told you a long time ago."
"Oh. Don't be sorry...take as long as you need. Shindou. You never have to tell me if you don't want to."
"I know. Tomorrow, I promise."
Hikaru feels his eyes stinging, so he pulls Touya into a hug to hide his face. He pats Touya firmly on the back, hands curling into fists.
It's scary, but at the same time, it's exhilirating: to be known.
To finally be known.
[[Sleep->START 11]]
(set: $round to "eleven")(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Hi. </div>]
(click: "Hi.")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Good morning, Touya.</div>]]
(click: "Good morning, Touya.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Morning. You never call me. What's the occasion?</div>]]
(click: "Morning. You never call me. What's the occasion?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Are you in Osaka?</div>]]
(click: "Are you in Osaka?")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Yes. Why?</div>]]
(click: "Yes. Why?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">I'm headed your way. I'm going to Innoshima.</div>]
(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Will you meet me there?</div>]]
(click: "Will you meet me there?")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">I can...but why? What about your Meijin league match?</div>]]
(click: "I can...but why? What about your Meijin league match?")[(align: "======><=")[<div class="textRight">Because I have something very important to tell you.</div>]]
(click: "Because I have something very important to tell you.")[(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Oh...</div>]
(align: "=><======")[<div class="textLeft">Okay.</div>]
[[Next->next13]]]Innoshima is a peaceful little island.
Hikaru meets Touya at the foot of the Shimanami Kaido's bridge.
"This is Shusaku's birthplace," Touya exclaims right away.
"I thought we could take a tour of the island and check out the memorial museum."
[[Walk around]]They don't take a long time at any of the main attractions that can be found on this small island. After all, these are modern constructions, and Hikaru is chasing something in the past, like following a disappearing trail of footsteps only he can see. Simply walking over the same land that Sai used to stand on is enough for him.
Touya follows, with many questions that he keeps to himself.
[[Go to the museum]]They get off the Miura line at Tonoura and walk to the Honinbou Shusaku Igo Memorial Hall. (click: "Honinbou Shusaku Igo Memorial Hall")[
The museum sits among a small hub of buildings, past the Ushitora Shrine, apparently erected in Shusaku's honor. Hikaru decides to take Touya to Shusaku's grave first, a three minute detour to the west of the museum. There he lights a stick of incense, spends a long time in reverence before Shusaku's grave while Touya watches from the side.
*Sai.
There is someone I trust.
I've brought him here because I want to tell him about you.*
[[To the museum]]
]
In the museum, the two of them admire Shusaku's kifu, artifacts of his life, the Go board he used to use. Reading the descriptions, Hikaru is flooded with fond memories of the times Sai recounted his life with Torajiro, mentally filling in the gaps with details only he knows.
Touya still hasn't asked any questions.
"Sit down, Touya."
Hikaru comes around to one of the Go boards available to be played on. Touya sits.
"Are you...are you going to tell me here?"
One look at Touya and Hikaru knows he's got him on the edge of his seat, almost bursting at the seams with curiosity and anticipation. It makes him smile.
"[[Not yet. But I want to replay a game with you.]]"Touya watches intently as Hikaru lays down the stones, black, then white, black, then white.
Somewhere along the way, they get recognized by the locals, and Hikaru has to make them swear to pretend they never saw him here. People gather in a crowd around their board, eager to witness a game being laid out between two of the top Go players of their generation, even if they don't know what is going on.
By the thirty fourth move, Touya's hand darts out to grab Hikaru's arm.
Hikaru looks up from the board. Touya's eyes are fixed on the game. He looks up at Hikaru. "This is that game," he whispers.
Hikaru nods.
"Shindou...why..."
"Sai," he says.
Touya's head snaps up. "[[Sai?]]""Sai...he played this game."
There are murmurs of Sai's name among the crowd, though Hikaru imagines only some people will know, some people will have forgotten, some must have never heard his name before.
But Touya's eyes are bulging intensely. "S-Sai? What do you mean?"
Hikaru just smiles as he continues laying down the stones.
"Sai must be on black," someone in the crowd says.
"White isn't playing badly either, but they're simply being overpowered."
"Who do you think is on white?" Hikaru asks, [[mischief in his grin.]]
"Don't tell me it's you, Shindou 5 Dan?"
"Unless it's Touya 7 Dan?"
"Us? No way," Hikaru waves his hand dismissively. "We can do so much better."
"That's right..." Someone comments. "White here is certainly good, but not nearly on the level of the two of you."
"If I were white," Hikaru picks up a stone, "I would play here. In fact, I wouldn't have let black put me in such despair to begin with. White can do a lot better. Isn't that right, Touya?"
Touya's eyes widen impossibly, trying to understand. And when he does, when he does, his eyes set with an intensity Hikaru knows well.
"Yes, a lot better. To me, at this point in time, [[there is nothing to fear about this game anymore]]."At the locals' request, in exchange for keeping their visit hush-hush, Hikaru plays Touya in a game.
Some people stay around for the whole two and a half hours. When they finish, the sun is already setting, and Hikaru chats merrily with the locals and learns about their recommendations for places to eat and places to stay.
"Are you going to tell me...*now*?" Touya asks over dinner.
[["After dinner," Hikaru promises.]]When the night falls, they find their way to an inn by the banks of the water.
After a shower, Hikaru sits in his yukata with his back to the room, night wind blowing in from the sliding doors opening into the inn's backyard. A fountain bubbles softly some distance away.
Touya comes back from the shower, towel draped over his hair.
"The front desk said they sell local craft beer. If you want a couple, I can...Shindou?"
"Touya," Hikaru turns around. He pats the tatami beside him. "Come sit."
Touya does quietly. The way he curls his hands on his lap and looks down tells Hikaru that he knows it's about to happen, that he's ready as ever to finally unravel the greatest mystery of his life, the greatest puzzle that is his best friend and rival.
[[Be known]]"You want to know, right?" Hikaru stares into the darkness. "About Sai."
Touya brings a hand to his chest. "You have no idea how much I want to know."
Hikaru nods.
"Sai was my best friend.
"I met him when I was 12. It was him who inspired me to learn Go. He was really good, really really good, and he taught me how to play. That's how I improved so much in such a short amount of time."
Touya nods slowly.
"When we had our first match, the game you laid out today...were you really a beginner?"
"Yeah, I was. I just met Sai days before that game."
"Then how did you..."
"[[I'll get there. Just listen.]]"
"For his own reasons, Sai couldn't show himself to the world, so he had to play through me. I assume you know this is the same Sai that became famous on the internet. I was the one who was playing those games online for him, I managed his account."
"I knew it...!"
"You really did, and you almost caught me once."
"But you were the only one there. Wait, Shindou...are you saying you are not Sai?"
"I am not Sai. Hikaru is Hikaru, Sai is Sai. He is not my alternate ego, we are different people."
"That...that makes absolutely no sense. That's impossible. It was *you* who played those games against me."
Hikaru looks over at Touya, emotions swimming intensely in his round eyes.
"You once said to me that you would be willing to believe the impossible if I gave you enough evidence. The truth is I don't have any evidence. There is no way for me to give you any reassurance that what I'm saying is true. But I'm hoping you will believe me anyway, because...because it's the only way things make sense, because it's the truth."
Touya is breathless. "[[What is it?]]""When I was 12, I went to my grandfather's attic one day and found a blood stained Go board. When I touched it, a voice called out to me. It was Sai. Sai...was a ghost in the Go board."
Touya's mouth has fallen open, his eyebrows knitted, listening and thinking intensely.
"Sai was the best Go player of his time during the Heian period. Due to some really tragic turn of events, he tried to kill himself in a lake, but because he was so attached to Go, his spirit remained and stayed inside a Go board for hundreds of years."
"Shindou...I'm begging you..." Touya reaches a hand across the distance between them, looking heartbroken. Hikaru feels so sad. He reaches out and covers Touya's hand with his own, grasping onto his cold fingers.
"[[I know you think I'm messing with you, but just listen...]]""Sai wouldn't be discovered until the Edo period, when a prodigy go playing child named Torajiro saw the tear stains on this Go board."
"Torajiro...that's." Touya's voice is a rasp.
"Honinbou Shusaku's birth name.
"Sai possessed Torajiro. Because Torajiro knew the game, he immediately recognized Sai's brilliance, and let him play every game through himself as a vessel."
Touya's hand jerks, as if trying to pull away, and Hikaru has to clutch on tighter.
"But Torajiro met an early death, and after his death Sai went back to possessing a Go board, until...[[until I found him in my grandpa's attic.]]"
Touya seems to have stopped breathing.
"I knew nothing about Go when it happened. I let him play the first few games because he was bugging me. The game against you was the first time I've ever played a Go game, Touya.
"I wanted to live my own life. I wanted to let him have a match now and then, but then I met you. I had nothing that meant anything special to me in my life at that point, but seeing you who was my age become so serious and intense about something made me wish I had something to be serious about, too.
"So I started wanting to learn Go. And slowly, Sai became my teacher rather than the player. I wanted to play my own Go, I wanted to catch up to you, I wanted...oh, Touya."
Touya's head is in his hand. He's shielding his eyes from view. "Then...at the school tournament..."
"That was me."
"That match wrecked me, Shindou. Something in me shattered after that day."
Hikaru wants to cry, too. Hand over hand, they sit in the silence, reverent to the childhood pains that they shared over misunderstanding that are now finally [[seeing the light]]."I didn't let Sai play anymore. I put myself, my own goals first. Sai wanted to find the Hand of God. I thought that so long as he hasn't found it, we have all the time in the world. But one day...
"On May 5th, when I was 14, Sai disappeared. He never came back." Hikaru's voice breaks. Tears overflow in an instant. "He never said goodbye."
Touya pulls his hand out from under Hikaru's. He brings it to smooth over Hikaru's back, up and down, over and over again as Hikaru sobs. "Till this day, I still don't know why he left, I will never know. I just have to accept that he has his reasons. He must have found something he was looking for."
"And because of that, you stopped playing..."
"I felt guilty for wanting to play. I only realized how much better it would have been for everyone if I had let Sai play all the games. I only realized his genius after he was gone. I felt racked with guilt for wanting to play for myself, I couldn't let myself want to play anymore.
"I looked everywhere for him, but it was only after I accepted he was really gone that I realized he was still alive...in my Go. He would live on in my Go, I could make him live on if I [[kept playing Go.]]""Every year, on May 5th, I like to disappear and be on my own, to pray for Sai and to revere the memory of him. That's why I get weird around Golden Week. That's why I'm unreachable.
"That's what I wanted to tell you, Touya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I should have told you a long time ago.
"I know it's crazy, but this is the most important story of my entire life. [[I hope you can believe me.]]"
(link: "The room is silent.")[
(link: "The fountain trickles in the darkness. Hikaru wipes at his eyes.")[
(link: "Touya takes back his hand, loose on his lap. His hair blocks the view of his face from the side.")[
(link: "And they sit there, in silence.")[
"No," Touya says.
[[Look over at him]]
] ]
]
]"No, it's not crazy. I believe you. I believe you, Shindou."
They watch each other, eyes locked.
In this congealed moment, where time and space flows around the bubbled parameters of their boyish figures, the two of them are reaching across the distance and touching upon something buried deep inside, something foreign.
Between this one look, what feels like a lifetime of emotions is becoming understood by the other. Hikaru feels, with visceral force, the visions and dreams he had once upon a time shattered in Touya with his choice to play in the school tournament game, and the unshakable trust he had since then given Touya reason to renew through his own Go, his own strength and determination.
And Touya...Touya is coming to understand the tenderest, most precious part of him, the weight of which he had carried all alone throughout all these years.
This is what it feels like to have the deepest part of your heart understood by someone you trust.
This is what it feels like to be believed.
*[[This is what it feels like to be known.]]*Touya takes time. He takes the whole night, retracing Hikaru's past and rediscovering the truth behind every moment, talking in hushed whispers late into the night.
Hikaru tells him anything and everything about Sai, from his unforgettable plays to his silliest moments.
Touya wants to know more, but Hikaru is succumbing to the lull of his body, the destiny of his time loop, and is starting to fall asleep.
"It's too bad...it's really too bad."
"What?"
*That you won't remember this tomorrow.*
They lie in their futons, eyes glimmering in the dark watching each other.
"I'll would tell you tomorrow, Touya. I'll would tell you again. I'll tell you again and again forever."
"It's not like I'll forget. How can I possibly forget any of this?"
Hikaru smiles sadly, expression lost in the dark. "You're right. Get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning."
[[Sleep->START 12]]
(set: $round to "???")Because he slept late, Hikaru wakes up around noon.
He's up before Touya is. He watches Touya's shoulders rise and fall under the thick cover of the futon, traces the streak of light on his serene face to the crack between the sliding doors.
He stands up and opens the doors. Outside, the sun's already high up, and the sky is a pure azureー
[[Wait]]He's in Innoshima.
[[Look down]]He's standing on the tatami of an inn, in Innoshima.
[[Look behind]]Touya is sleeping over there.
[[????????????]]"Touya," Hikaru shakes him, almost violently.
"Touya, wake up."
"Hnn?"
"Touya, (text-style: "rumble")[oh my god]."
"What...?" Touya crawls up, rubbing his eyes and looking disturbed.
"Touya, what day is it?"
"Huh? Isn't it May 6th? Just [[check your phone]]."(align: "====><==")[<div class="yellow">11(text-style: "blink")[:]46 AM
May 6</div>]
(set: $counter to 8)[]<click|
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(replace: ?click)["Oh my god."
"It's broken."
"What is?"
"The time loop."
"What?"
"The...Touya, you wouldn't believe me, but I've been in a time loop for the past eleven days. I've relived May 5th over and over again for eleven days. I was starting to think I would never break out of it but then today I woke up here, and you're here, andーhey! Listen, I'm not lying, Iー"
"You're insane, Shindou." Touya says, slipping back into his blankets.
"You believed me yesterday!"
"Yeah, and thanks to your spiel I'm starting to doubt my decision."
"You know I would never lie to you."
"You would, though."
"Ok, but...[[forget it.]]"]]
]Hikaru sits there, suddenly exhausted.
"I didn't think...I didn't think this would happen. I didn't think you would remember anything I said, and that's why I was able to tell you..."
"What do you think I am, a goldfish? How could I just forget?"
"Oh god...now you know too much about me..."
"Yeah, now I know you're a even more insane liar than I thought you were."
Hikaru rolls Touya around the bed like a log.
(text-style: "rumble")[{[["Now you knoooow, fuuuuuuck."]]}]
Touya sits up, pissed.
"You want me to forget it instead? Sure, I'll conveniently forget it. I'll stop believing in your crazy stories and just pretend it was a fever dream and like you neverー"
"No no no, please."
"Touya," Hikaru says, "thank you for listening."
Touya opens his mouth to say something, but sighs instead.
"Thank you for telling me."
[[Thank you]](align: "=><=")[<div class="title">the end</div>]
<div class="center"><b>Thank you!</b>
2021
a Hikaru no Go interactive fiction
by olive
[[REPLAY->START]]
[[CREDITS]]</div>
I'd like to thank the 20x20 zine participants for cheering me on during the development of this interactive story.
I'd like to thank my mom for making me zhajiangmian with tofu bits (because I'm vegan) instead of meat and sustaining my food intake so I don't have to worry about food while I worked on this story.
I'd like to thank my friends for bringing joy into my life while they had no idea I was working on this story.
Lastly, I'd like to thank myself for the dedication to this little idea, and for the 20+ hours I've invested in the completion of this story.
Inspired by the movie <b>Groundhog Day</b>.
If you enjoyed the concept of time loops, please do check it out!
[[Back->Thank you]]